My Struggle

I tend to be a dweller. I dwell on what I love; I dwell on what I can't stand. Whether it's good or bad {ok, the bad is a much bigger dwell-digger} I have a tough time getting past certain things. I'm not sure if it has to do with forgiveness, or just the fact that I fill myself up with excitement and either LOVE it, or am extremely disappointed.

In this case, I'm "extremely disappointed." I can't stop thinking about our wedding photos. I try not to look at other people's - to compare what they have and I don't. It's eating me though. I was sooo excited to get married {it was great} yet photos have always been a huge deal to me. I don't know what it is about them {that is so amazing}. Anyway, we have beautiful wedding pics - but there could be so much more. so many more. so many more angles. so many more people. just so many.

So, WHAT DO I DO?? I'd really like to get some printed. I think that will help me feel better. I tried so hard to pick out the perfect photographer. I had my doubts - but looked at so many {my first choices were actually booked} so I picked a great lady. Fun, enthusiastic, and loves the Lord. But, our pictures! and our second photographer sure seemed to be a joke. i'm so bummed. the people I could have picked...

Here's where I'm really questioning:

Is this part of God's plan? Ya know, is there a purpose behind this - something for me to learn? someway to reach other people? some possibility down the road?? or, is it just a bad learning experience {to be really careful if its really important} I struggle with whether everything has a plan and a purpose. Are things really meant to be? Or, does God just use our good or bad choices towards good. Like, I could choose to let this lead to something good. Or will it automatically? I kind of believe both philosophies half and half.

what to do???!?